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#30 - The Dynamics of Marriage During a Pandemic | Clinical Psychologist Dr. Lavelle

#30 - The Dynamics of Marriage During a Pandemic | Clinical Psychologist Dr. Lavelle

Welcome to “The Elements of Being” podcast, where I dissect and explore the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, we examine the mental and emotional narratives and processes that steer the social stream of consciousness….Truly a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. Each episode is a glimpse into the trends and patterns of human behavior and the underlying influences that navigate us into different directions. Whether we primarily focus on nutrition or the unconscious, guests share insights, thought-provoking lessons, the nuances of creativity, and the elements of being….us.

Today, I’d like to introduce the very talented, Dr. Sera Lavelle, owner of NY Health Hypnosis & Integrative Therapy and co-founder of the soon-to-be-launched mindful eating app, Bea Better Eating. It’s practically a sin that we didn’t discuss her current project in great detail (especially with my interest in our relationship to food and the psychology of our eating behaviors). Instead, we took a deep dive into the role of hypnosis in the clinical setting and the intriguing dynamics of marriages and conflict resolution. A fitting topic as everyone reflects on their relationships during the last 12 months of the pandemic.

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Lavelle, is an expert in using hypnosis and integrative therapy for weight loss, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, infertility, and relationship issues. She also served as an Adjunct Professor at Brooklyn College and Adelphi University where she taught Psychology of Sex and Gender


and Psychology from a Multi-Cultural Perspective. Dr. Lavelle’s work with eating disorders has been highly recognized, with articles about her and her team appearing in Forbes, Prevention, Elle Magazine, NY Times, and NY Magazine.

In our interview, we discussed hypnosis and the broader implications for one's inability to reach a hypnotic state as well as its integrative role in the restoration of a failing marriage. We also dissect the fair expectations in the marriage dynamic, maladaptive patterns that lead to the most conflict and sustained tension, the idea of “settling down,” and the new relationship challenges experienced during the shelter-in periods of the pandemic.

To learn more about Dr. Lavelle, visit https://www.nyhealthhypnosis.com/dr-sera-lavelle. Check out her latest project, Bea Better Eating, on https://www.beabettereating.com/, as well.


Listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform!


Episode #29 - Overcoming Illness and Poor Health with a Natural Diet and Mindfulness | Asha Gala

Episode #29 - Overcoming Illness and Poor Health with a Natural Diet and Mindfulness | Asha Gala

Welcome to “The Elements of Being” podcast, where I dissect and explore the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, we examine the mental and emotional narratives and processes that steer the social stream of consciousness….Truly a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. Each episode is a glimpse into the trends and patterns of human behavior and the underlying influences that navigate us into different directions. Whether we primarily focus on nutrition or the unconscious, guests share insights, thought-provoking lessons, the nuances of creativity, and the elements of being….us.

Today, we examine the role of mindfulness in the transformation of your physical health with Asha Gala, a lifestyle coach and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MSBR) Teacher from the farm at Ethos Primary Care. No doubt, a relevant topic for those listeners interested in improving their health and reversing illness. We discussed the early cultural influences of Mumbai on her diet and the challenges of transitioning to the American way of life and diet as an adult. Most certainly, Asha’s experience with her daughter’s chronic sickness opened up a new world of “food as medicine” as she sought a remedy…and we explored the connection of that journey to the challenges her patients face today.

#29 - Overcoming Illness and Poor Health with a Natural Diet and Mindfulness | Asha Gala

#29 - Overcoming Illness and Poor Health with a Natural Diet and Mindfulness | Asha Gala

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We also dissected the early influences on Asha’s dietary and lifestyle approach and how to convince ourselves to move outside of our wired way of life. Our conversation naturally flowed to the common obstacles to transforming your health, the role of compassion, and the importance of the readiness for change. We highlighted the foundation of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and the role of awareness and the breath, as well.

To learn more about Asha Gala, https://www.ethosprimarycare.com/asha-gala.


Listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform!


Episode #28 - Examining Our Connection to Racism with Dr. Maidenberg

Episode #28 - Examining Our Connection to Racism with Dr. Maidenberg

Welcome to “The Elements of Being” podcast, where I dissect and explore the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, we examine the mental and emotional narratives and processes that steer the social stream of consciousness….Truly a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. Each episode is a glimpse into the trends and patterns of human behavior and the underlying influences that navigate us into different directions. Whether we primarily focus on nutrition or the unconscious, guests share insights, thought-provoking lessons, the nuances of creativity, and the elements of being….us.

Today, we explore our connection to racism with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg. We examine how cultural perspectives and experiences shape much of the racist rhetoric and perspectives in our lives, and how we might perceive and manage the guilt and shame we feel. We also dive into how we might approach situations in which friends, family, or colleagues consciously or unconsciously share racist rhetoric. And finally....besides breaking down the role of biases, sitting in discomfort, and facing social fears in relation to racism, we break down the importance of mindfulness in our daily approach.

I’m excited to share my genuine and thought-provoking conversation with you. Dr. Maidenberg is the president and clinical director of Westchester Group Works, a center for group therapy in Harrison, NY, where she maintains a private practice.

She is an adjunct graduate professor of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Human Behavior at the Silver School of Social Work at New York University.


Dr. Maidenberg has also published in varied professional journals, the New York Times, the Daily News, Fitness, Woman’s Day, Parents, and many other publications. Her book Free Your Child from Overeating guides parents through mind-body strategies that help kids and teens develop life-long healthful behaviors.

Actively engaged in promoting the health of her community, Michelle is the co-founder and clinical director of the Thru My Eyes Foundation, which helps parents with life-threatening illnesses create a video legacy for their families. She is a Certified Group Therapist through the American Group Psychotherapy Association. Michelle has advanced training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and much more.

To learn more about Dr. Michelle Maidenberg, visit https://michellemaidenberg.com/!


Listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform!


Episode #27 - Living with Intent

#27 - Living with Intent

Welcome to “The Elements of Being” podcast, where I dissect and explore the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, we examine the mental and emotional narratives and processes that steer the social stream of consciousness….Truly a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. Each episode is a glimpse into the trends and patterns of human behavior and the underlying influences that navigate us into different directions. Whether we primarily focus on nutrition or the unconscious, guests share insights, thought-provoking lessons, the nuances of creativity, and the elements of being….us.

Wellll….In 2020, our will was challenged as well as the habits and routines that defined our lives up to that point. The pandemic, social unrest, and election friction certainly shook the best of our physical, emotional, and mental selves in different ways. Similar to past years, I take January to reflect on the prior 12 months, to adopt new mental software (which are habits, perspectives, and patterns of thinking), and to reboot. As my best friend Craig mentioned this past May, this historic period is what we've been preparing for over the last decade: The steps to improve physical health. The steps to manage stress effectively. The steps to adapt effectively and efficiently. Having been tested, this is truly the best time to reexamine my adaptability and the needed protocol to move forward with my best self. And I challenge you to pledge the same.

Although the popular approach at this time of year is to list desired behaviors and actions first, the most important step (and the true beginning) is identifying the principles that steer my behavior. In essence, all behaviors and perspectives extend from this moral/ethical/philosophical base. Although I don't expect to live perfectly and follow every principle and intent to a "T," they will certainly steer my conscious and unconscious daily. It is my "business plan" for the new "fiscal year" of my personal life. I encourage you to think about the plan I’m about to share as an example and formulate your own approach within a similar template.

Please keep in mind that "living" always requires effort and the root of all being is interaction. The universe is undoubtedly interconnected, and true isolation is non-existent. My presence...my actions....my movements....all affect my environment and other living things.


Although my intents serve my selfish needs, they also serve a good beyond myself (for example, being there for my family for years to come, protecting our natural environment, depending less on healthcare, contributing to empathetic and compassionate energy in the community, and more.). All of us can curate a better world with the same intent.

So, what are my principles? What will steer my behavior and perspectives in 2021? I'll admit that I’m not reinventing the wheel this year…I’m simply amplifying my approach and effect in our beautiful world. In 2005, I created a business plan over the course of three months. Little did I know, this practice not only provided the structure for my professional endeavors for the next fifteen years but it guided my day-to-day personal approach as well. It steered my reflection process and organized my thoughts about “living.” It provided my purpose to “live with intent and to guide people in their journey to understand themselves, the people around them, and their interaction with the world.” No small undertaking and a challenge I believe I was meant and fit to do. From day one, I committed to an alignment of my professional and personal lives based on this purpose. In this period, the relationships I developed, the self-improvement book I published, and this very podcast exemplifies the progression of that original plan.

And each year I reexamine that original intent….that mission. I update it with modified principles based on my status and the status of the world at a given point. In 2021, here is my list of principles. Of course, I wouldn’t dare to stop there. Like the many others who approach the new year with a new sense of invigoration and passion, I’ve also broken the habits and behaviors that I seek to change or amplify. Photo: Cruise America - All of us need to cruise in nature to reflect on this past year.

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To learn more about Michael, visit https://www.theelementsofbeing.com/!


Listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform!


Episode #26 - Designing the Mind in a New Year with Ryan A. Bush

Episode #26 - Designing the Mind in a New Year with Ryan A. Bush

Welcome to “The Elements of Being” podcast, where I dissect and explore the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, we examine the mental and emotional narratives and processes that steer the social stream of consciousness….Truly a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. Each episode is a glimpse into the trends and patterns of human behavior and the underlying influences that navigate us into different directions. Whether we primarily focus on nutrition or the unconscious, guests share insights, thought-provoking lessons, the nuances of creativity, and the elements of being….us.

In today’s episode, I dove into the “mind” with author Ryan A. Bush and discussed his new book Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture. His book was a complete indulgence to discuss and certainly appropriate for a deep exploration of ourselves at the start of a new year as we recover from the ongoing pandemic, an economic downturn, the rise of social protests, and an enflamed US election. I think most listeners will agree that the true start of this decade should begin on January 1st of 2021 instead….and there’s no better way than to understand our current mental software as we are about to reboot.

So, what is Ryan’s psycho-philosophical book about? It combines the ancient adage that true happiness comes from within with the modern metaphor of the mind as an operating system. It integrates the wisdom and insights of ancient mystics, practical philosophers, and cognitive scientists into a mindset and method for reprogramming your own psychological software. Basically, it’s a handbook for mastering your behavior, cognition, and emotions, one algorithm at a time. Whether fear prevents you from pursuing your ambitions, jealousy ruins your relationships, distractions rule your life, or you have an inner critic whose expectations you are never able to meet, the psychitectural framework will enable you to understand and rewire the hidden patterns behind your biases, habits, and emotional reactions.


If you know me well enough by now, then you probably know I was salivating at the opportunity to discuss these themes in detail…especially in relation to retraining our minds to achieve what we want. We’ll call this episode the prep work for your New Year’s resolutions and intents.

In our interview, here’s what we specifically discussed:

- Whether or not behaviors and perspectives are predetermined.
- How our daily lives specifically contribute to the program of the brain.
- How we can develop the ability to increasingly determine our own subjective experience.
- The basic foundation of psychitecture.
- The influences that corrupt our mental operating system.
- How our default algorithms contribute to many of our psychological problems today.
- The importance of metacognition when critically thinking about a problem.
- The consequences of our mental patterns and biases.
- The false assumptions about exceptional critical thinking skills and self-control.
- How to beta-test and challenge our belief system.
- How our emotions weren't built to deal with modern life.
- The role of unregulated emotion and the underlying influence on brutal dictators, school shooters, and belligerent bigots.

To learn more about Ryan A. Bush, visit https://designingthemind.org/!


Listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform!