3 Tools to Dramatically Improve Your Romantic Relationship
Introduction
Optimal health extends beyond your time in a personal trainer’s studio. If you put extra effort into your relationships, you might be surprised by how your overall well-being improves. Whether your romantic relationship is sound or a struggle, here are 3 tools to dramatically change that dynamic today.
The 5 Love Languages Personal Profile for Couples
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Although you can ambitiously read the book of the same name, I highly recommend taking this free quiz online at 5lovelanguages.com. It will help you identify the love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch) that you value the most. Why is this important? If your partner values “acts of service” the most (like making dinner together), it may not matter how many bunches of flowers you buy him or her. Although you value “receiving gifts” the most, it doesn’t mean your partner will too. How often have you heard someone say (or said yourself), “It doesn’t matter what I do, he never appreciates it.” I ask you: Do you really know what he appreciates or values the most? Perhaps, all your partner wants is “physical touch”…a hug to show your continued interest in him. You can see how easily this lack of communication or awareness can compound into many nonsensical arguments.
I recommend that you and your partner individually take this quiz and then discuss your scores. Although you’re not instructed to break down your answers, I strongly suggest you do so. The two of you may share the same answer but may have a completely different mindset approaching the scenario. Essentially, take the guesswork out of the relationship by learning how your partner approaches a scenario and what he or she values most.
2. My Life Story: A Visual Map
Personal Trainer Wisdom: The ‘My Life Story Map’ left a lasting impression on my wife and me before our wedding last year. It helped us recognize the defining moments in our past and understand how they have shaped us. Although we utilized the ‘A Visual Map for Reflecting on My Past’ diagram by Sibyl Towner and Sharon Swing, you can certainly create your own. Basically, you and your partner will draw and write a timeline of your life on separate pieces of paper. At the top and middle of your page, draw a horizontal (parallel) line. On the top line, write the years of your life that correlate with the critical events that you describe on the middle line. The middle line should reflect events, people, places, vocations, avocations, and more. You can record these events above or below this middle line, depending on whether the event is perceived as a positive event (above) or an adverse event (below). As you try to determine the most noteworthy events, ask yourself the following questions: Which events elicited the most significant emotional response? Which events were most responsible for your personal and professional approach today? Which events specifically affected your relationships with others today? When did you feel the most insecure and weak or secure and robust? What were the most significant turning points or decisions that steered your life the most?
You may certainly personalize this timeline however you see fit. Honesty is most important (with yourself and partner). Evaluate how these life occurrences affected you and write that down. For example, my parents’ divorce had a profound effect on my life. Unfortunately, it shaped a negative perspective on relationships for a long time (conflict management, displays of affection, etc). At the same time, while moving after my parents’ divorce was undoubtedly a great challenge at the age of 12, I became more adaptable in several different environments. I became more curious. Think about these long-term effects on my life! I now love travel and feel comfortable exploring and interacting with the unknown world. What events in your life have shaped you? Not only is this a great way to see a timeline of your life on paper, but it is also an opportunity to reflect on what has influenced how you behave, perceive, and generally approach the world. Take this time to learn about yourself while helping your partner understand you.
3. A Hug
Personal Trainer Wisdom: The root of all life is interaction…and nothing is easier or cheaper than a hug! Even if you don’t have the right words, a simple hug could express how you feel. It also shows your vulnerability to your partner as well as physically connecting to him or her.
About the Author: Michael Moody, Wedding Officiant
Michael Moody—author of the self-improvement book Redefine Yourself: The Simple Guide to Happiness and host of the “The Elements of Being” podcast—is an ordained minister serving Denver and other towns across Colorado. He is a 2023 WeddingWire Couples’ Choice Award winner in both Denver and Chicago (his eighth consecutive year), was named “Best Business of 2024 and 2025” by Three Best Rated, and earned “The Best Wedding Officiant in Commerce City, Colorado for 2024” from Quality Business Awards USA. Since 2012, he has officiated more than 300 weddings.
Specifically, Michael officiates wedding ceremonies in the Denver neighborhoods of LoDo, River North, Washington Park, Cherry Creek, City Park, Central Park, Capitol Hill, Cheesman Park, Park Hill, Highland, Platt Park, Lower Highlands, Sloan Lake as well as the zip codes 80215, 80214, 80204, 80203, 80205, 80207, 80218, 80219, 80222, 80223, 80224, 80246, 80238, 80221, 80022, 80230, 80231, 80202, 80209, 80247, and 80210. Michael also serves as an ordained minister in Golden, Boulder, Breckenridge, Frisco, Aspen, Vail, Estes Park, and more.
If your Denver neighborhood or Colorado town isn’t listed here, no worries! Please contact Michael to propose a wedding ceremony location in a different area!
