Why 'Follow Your Dreams' May Be the Worst Advice You Ever Heard
"Follow your dreams.' It's impossible to do without self-knowledge, what takes years. You discover your 'dream' (or sense of purpose) in the very act of walking the path, which is guided by equal parts choice and chance." Maria Popova's response to Tim Ferriss's question regarding the worst advice she ever heard in the book Tools of Titans.
What Are Your Dreams Really Based On
'Follow your dreams.' You've heard this advice probably as often as I did growing up. Indeed, the most common sources of inspiration for a youngster are coffee table books and wall art. What does it really mean, and how serious should we consider this advice? Do you know?
As a student of psychology for the last 20 years, I've learned one very important thing: Most people aren't aware of themselves (or the influences on how they think). I fell into this category for a long time, and it's taken much effort to recognize and understand the trends and patterns of me, including my dreams. I'd love to believe that my dreams were an inspirational inner voice that always had my best interest in mind and guided me with a knowledge and understanding beyond my being.
Unfortunately —and fortunately —they were most likely the result of environmental influences, interactions, emotional interpretations, and unconscious cues from my history. At times, my dreams reflected insecurities and fears that plagued my unconscious or a disoriented interpretation of the day’s events. Often, they reflected a film I watched that day or an emotion I recently experienced. While I recognized the symbolism of those dreams, I also understand how easily they can be misleading.
The Interpretation of Your Dreams
You may not be any different. Have you observed your physical, mental, and emotional self? Have you ever observed the trends and patterns in yourself? Have you identified the underlying influences on your behavior (i.e., fears and insecurities)? Have you ever examined the underlying influences on your dreams? If you're like most people, you will say "No." Would you follow any other prompt or cue like a dream with so many unanswered questions?
Don't forget that at times your dreams are also completely ridiculous and nonsensical. You may disregard those dreams, but that doesn't mean you should follow your dream just because it has a sensible, relatable narrative that seems like the truth about your path. As Maria points out, we learn about our true selves and what's best for us by walking the path... by interacting with people and the world. If you don't know what you want to do next, be curious instead of following your dreams initially. Find invigoration and direction through the collision of your being and experiences with different people and in various environments, and see how it manifests later. Maybe at some point, you can consider the prompt of your dreams or your gut instinct. Be sure to understand yourself first, though, honestly.
You're a Leader, Not a Follower
Also consider that the simple act of following implies that you are not leading. It is a serious unconscious nudge to wait for a sign before making lifelong personal and professional decisions without sound evidence. Do you really want only to follow something that can be interpreted a million different ways? Let's be honest. Most of our interpretations aren't 100% accurate and are often self-serving, influenced by factors (which isn’t always a bad thing when it comes to survival, but should be recognized). Why not follow the mantra ‘Create the life you want’?
While I always love words of inspiration, you may want to reconsider how sound the advice might be. No path is as easy as following your dreams.
Personal Trainer Wisdom
No matter if you believe that your dreams are a result of your personal history or a spiritual push, you can’t argue with the importance of self-awareness. Whatever cue you receive, you should still examine the path you walked and the ground you stand on. Your assessment may provide the direction you need.
About the Author: Michael Moody, Wedding Officiant
Michael Moody—author of the self-improvement book Redefine Yourself: The Simple Guide to Happiness and host of the “The Elements of Being” podcast—is an ordained minister serving Denver and other towns across Colorado. He is a 2023 WeddingWire Couples’ Choice Award winner in both Denver and Chicago (his eighth consecutive year), was named “Best Business of 2024 and 2025” by Three Best Rated, and earned “The Best Wedding Officiant in Commerce City, Colorado for 2024” from Quality Business Awards USA. Since 2012, he has officiated more than 300 weddings.
Specifically, Michael officiates wedding ceremonies in the Denver neighborhoods of LoDo, River North, Washington Park, Cherry Creek, City Park, Central Park, Capitol Hill, Cheesman Park, Park Hill, Highland, Platt Park, Lower Highlands, Sloan Lake as well as the zip codes 80215, 80214, 80204, 80203, 80205, 80207, 80218, 80219, 80222, 80223, 80224, 80246, 80238, 80221, 80022, 80230, 80231, 80202, 80209, 80247, and 80210. Michael also serves as an ordained minister in Golden, Boulder, Breckenridge, Frisco, Aspen, Vail, Estes Park, and more.
If your Denver neighborhood or Colorado town isn’t listed here, no worries! Please contact Michael to propose a wedding ceremony location in a different area!
