Find your best self before the wedding ceremony and read marriage, relationship, and wellness tips from Denver wedding officiant, Michael Moody.
3 Nonverbal Gestures that Will Change Your Romantic Relationship Forever
Introduction
Have you ever thought about the mixed messages that you’re sending your partner during a conversation? Your nonverbal gestures could be sending a message you didn’t intend. Make these three simple changes to redefine how you communicate in a romantic relationship.
Keep your hands folded in front or your arms on your side.
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: Have you ever been in an argument while keeping your hands folded in front of you? Probably not. If you’re like most people, you become animated when upset: Arms flailing, convulsive head ticks, and a blend of sitting, standing, and fidgeting. Does this reaction typically help the situation? The answer is never yes.
Whether you intend to or not, your reaction probably makes your partner feel defensive (which could filter the message you’re trying to communicate). The biggest threat: Your hands! During your following conversation with your partner, move your arms and watch his eyes follow your hands. He’s worried about your hands and what they’ll do next (something to compromise his safety???)! It’s a protective instinct (like a warrior), and it places him in a defensive mode (even if it’s only unconscious).
Even if your nonverbal gestures aren’t an interpretative dance of the devil, placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms might reflect discontent, anger, disgust, and boredom, too. If this is your intent, shame on you, and save the show for the stage. Most likely, though, you’re doing this unconsciously and don’t realize the effect of your nonverbal gestures.
Perform a check-in during your conversations. Ask yourself: What message are you sending with your physical position or reactions? You can offer your attention without adopting a confrontational manner. Try sitting with your hands folded in front of you (to show patience and attentive listening) or standing with your arms at your sides (a non-combative stance). Communication in a relationship requires trust and security. Don’t undermine this safe zone and muddle your message with nonverbal gestures you didn’t intend.
2. Face your partner with your shoulders square.
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: Just as your hands and arms can tell a different nonverbal story, your hips can, too. When you turn your body away from your partner, you could be signaling that you’re about to run away (which could be true) or about to fight her in a martial arts match. Most importantly, you’re not showing your vulnerability with the display of your whole torso (think opening yourself to someone instead of closing yourself off). Make your partner believe that she’s safe during this conversation and that you’re fully interested in what she says. Keep your hips parallel to her hips and square your shoulders in an upright position.
3. Look your partner in the eyes while speaking and listening (assuming you listen :) )
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: Nothing shows more respect to another human being (and dog) than looking at them in the eyes during a conversation. It’s another sign of attentiveness and respect. Most people find this nonverbal gesture the most challenging because they feel inferior or intimidated by the other person. I often find myself looking away to find a thought (as if I could picture the word I’m grasping for in my mind). Your reason may not be out of disrespect to the other person, either. Nevertheless, it is the most regarded in any personal or professional setting. Your eye contact says, “I respect you…I’m listening to you… a very important nonverbal message when building intimacy in any relationship. Practice and stop overthinking.
About the Author: Michael Moody, Wedding Officiant
Michael Moody—author of the self-improvement book Redefine Yourself: The Simple Guide to Happiness and host of the “The Elements of Being” podcast—is a wedding officiant serving Denver, Boulder, Golden, and other towns across Colorado. He is a 2023 WeddingWire Couples’ Choice Award winner in Denver (his eighth consecutive year), was named “Best Business of 2024 and 2025” by Three Best Rated, and earned “The Best Wedding Officiant in Commerce City, Colorado for 2024” from Quality Business Awards USA. Since 2012, he has officiated more than 300 weddings and now offers Colorado elopement ceremonies for couples looking for an intimate experience beyond the boundaries.
Wedding locations: Michael officiates wedding ceremonies in the Denver neighborhoods of LoDo, River North, Washington Park, Cherry Creek, City Park, Central Park, Capitol Hill, Cheesman Park, Park Hill, Lower Highlands, and Sloan Lake. Michael also serves as an ordained minister in Golden, Boulder, Breckenridge, Frisco, Aspen, Vail, Estes Park, and more. If your Denver neighborhood or Colorado town isn’t listed here, no worries! Please contact Michael to propose a wedding ceremony location in a different area!
"9 Ways to Ensure Your Relationship Is Built to Last" Review
Introduction
Stress is such a big obstacle in your personal and professional lives. Surprisingly, the root of change may lie in your romantic relationship at home. Here are the top tips from the Livestrong article "9 Ways to Ensure Your Relationship Is Built to Last” to minimize your stress at home and maximize your presence of mind in your marriage.
1. BE PRESENT
The best way to connect with those you love is by being present -- over and over and over again -- says wellness counselor Anne Parker. “Being present means fully engaging in what is being shared between you in that moment, truly paying attention to the thoughts, feelings, and actions you’re experiencing together.” Keep the television off as the two of you share dinner. Switch off your tablet or smartphone in the evening so you can spend time fully participating with your partner -- listening, sharing and experiencing the time you’re spending together. Parker adds that while this may sound obvious and straightforward, think about how often we let ourselves get distracted from truly paying attention. “Without engaged presence,” she says, “relationships quickly wither.”
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: All relationships benefit from genuine, respectful interactions. To adequately do this, you must be present without a doubt. With the never-ending distractions and demands from your professional and personal lives, you should really question what you currently offer to your partner. Are you carving out time to interact with them? No matter how long you've been together, are you entirely focused on your partner when you spend time together? I’m admittedly often lured by my phone…we can always justify checking on emails for work, right? In an effort to minimize this habit, I’ve begun placing my phone to the side as soon as I walk in the door after work, and flipping it over (with the sound off). In fact, Sammy and I usually hug as soon as we return home, and then we discuss our day before the television is ever turned on (not an emoji hug). Although I’m not perfect, these little efforts add up. With my newborn son, Preston, joining the family, refocusing couldn’t be more critical. How can you be more present?
2. ACKNOWLEDGE THE POSITIVE
While we might have fallen in love with our partners because of their positive traits and qualities, everyday stresses and anxieties can make it far too easy for us to focus only on the negative. “Make sure you acknowledge what’s working,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker, “and give credit for the things that go well even in the midst of conflict.” Try to see that for every one negative feeling or interaction between the two of you, there are five positive ones. This five-to-one ratio, according to relationship researcher and author John Gottman, is typical of stable and happy couples. So instead of focusing on how you wish your partner were different, Parker says, “stay in touch with what you love about that person.”
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: You need to keep celebrating the best of each other and the love you share. All people (including me : )) love acknowledgment of the wonderful things they do or the incredible energy they share in the world. You can’t say enough. In a lifetime of imperfections, it is up to you to praise the best of what’s in-between…especially of what you identify in your partner.
3. NURTURE RESPECT
“Respecting each other means remembering that you are two different people, with different perspectives, histories, and ways of being,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker. In a paper published in 2000 in the American Journal of Psychotherapy concerning romantic love and its barriers, the idea of respect is equated to each person taking their partner seriously as a person. The article theorizes that in order to love another in the fullest sense, it is vital to understand and appreciate that your partner, like you, is “the conscious center of her own world, a fellow maker of choices, an entitled holder of rights, values and life goals and an experiencer of joys and sufferings.” Honoring those differences is just as important as valuing the similarities, Parker says. “We all want to be respected for who we are and what makes us unique.”
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: This quote is worth repeating: Your partner, like you, is “the conscious center of her own world, a fellow maker of choices, an entitled holder of rights, values, and life goals, and an experiencer of joys and sufferings.” Do you keep this in mind while interacting with your partner? What assumptions do you make about him or her? Are you reacting rather than considering your partner's history and the roots of their perspective? You are entitled to your opinion. In respect to your partner, though, you should take the time to learn “why, what, when, who, how, and where” before passing judgment or making an assumption. Respect is best shown through your willingness to build effective communication. Ask the right questions and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
4. BE CURIOUS
People want to feel that their significant other is interested in them and cares about what is important to them. Cultivate curiosity and interest in your partner. Don’t presume you already know all of his answers, motives, thoughts and experiences. Making such a presumption distances yourself from who your partner truly is, denies him the opportunity for expression and diminishes intimacy. “Make sure that you regularly create focused time to just talk, ask questions and share the thoughts and feelings of everyday experiences,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker. Curiosity breeds discovery, she explains, “and ongoing discovery about each other keeps the relationship vital and interesting.”
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: Over time, your wisdom has evolved through your experiences. You most likely have changed in several ways, and it’s not fair to think that your partner has been static during the same length of time. Be curious. Explore how your partner experiences the world each day. You may be surprised to hear how he or she now interprets a situation or handles a challenge differently the second time. It’s a great opportunity to connect on different emotional and mental levels, and it also opens the doors for additional communication and trust.
5. DON’T GET ATTACHED TO BEING RIGHT
When disagreements occur between you and your partner, don’t commit yourself so fully to the idea that you’re the one who’s right that you lose sight of what’s really important. “Getting attached to being right just creates barriers to resolution and productive action,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker. Most of the time it doesn’t even matter who’s right, she says. “What matters is how you connect, listen, discuss and create the most productive result.”< br>
Wedding Officiant Wisdom: You should celebrate the best of life together and seek the best and most reasonable solution possible (together) when confronted with a challenge. There is, and never will be, any value in establishing who’s right or wrong…it doesn’t matter if that’s your focus, shame on you. A relationship isn’t a game or a battle. You need to rethink your approach. Even if you’re not at fault, you add fuel to the fire with this attitude. Sorry, drama queens and kings, I'm talking to you.
About the Author: Michael Moody, Wedding Officiant
Michael Moody—author of the self-improvement book Redefine Yourself: The Simple Guide to Happiness and host of the “The Elements of Being” podcast—is a wedding officiant serving Denver, Boulder, Golden, and other towns across Colorado. He is a 2023 WeddingWire Couples’ Choice Award winner in Denver (his eighth consecutive year), was named “Best Business of 2024 and 2025” by Three Best Rated, and earned “The Best Wedding Officiant in Commerce City, Colorado for 2024” from Quality Business Awards USA. Since 2012, he has officiated more than 300 weddings and now offers Colorado elopement ceremonies for couples looking for an intimate experience beyond the boundaries.
Wedding locations: Michael officiates wedding ceremonies in the Denver neighborhoods of LoDo, River North, Washington Park, Cherry Creek, City Park, Central Park, Capitol Hill, Cheesman Park, Park Hill, Lower Highlands, and Sloan Lake. Michael also serves as an ordained minister in Golden, Boulder, Breckenridge, Frisco, Aspen, Vail, Estes Park, and more. If your Denver neighborhood or Colorado town isn’t listed here, no worries! Please contact Michael to propose a wedding ceremony location in a different area!